Marriage, Partnership, Friendship & Devotion

by Michael Corthell

Just imagine a life without devotion? You have no commitments, you never follow-through, and you have no grounding in what truly really matters in life. In short no devotion, little happiness (see video below).

Is that how you live?  Do you veer away from your core beliefs in the face of forceful people and situations?

Do you not take the time to reflect on what is important to you?

Are you blown around like a feather on the wind?

Is this what you want? Let's get you to a more positive point.

The best way for me to illustrate devotion is to speak about it in the context of marriage. How to be a devoted spouse. In Proverbs 17:17 the message is; ''A friend loves you all the time...'' The number one thing a spouse (best friend) does is they love you all the time, no matter what, unconditionally. 

Most married people want to be a good spouses and being devoted is one of the primary ways to do so. Studies have shown that devoted spouses are much more happy and satisfied with their marriages and are less likely to feel boxed in.

They are willing to make sacrifices necessary for the sake of their marriages. They simply have longer lasting marriages because if it. What does a devoted spouse do?


Support their spouse emotionally. They appreciate their spouse’s feelings and emotions. They never ignore them. For example, they never say things like, “quit feeling sorry for yourself.” .

Share their deepest thoughts and feelings with their spouse. They are completely open, honest and vulnerable with their partner. They do not keep them guessing about what they are thinking.

Enjoy time spent with their spouse. They rush home from work so that they can spend time with their partners. They feel wanted when they get there. And when they are with their spouse, they give them their full attention. This fosters feelings of being connected and fully loved.

Pay attention to the 'small' things. They are able to tell their spouse when their feelings are hurt or if they are sad. If the other partner feels that way, they respond accordingly with love and compassion. They also do 'little things' to show their love for their spouses such as calling, texting to say ''I love you'' in the middle of the day or leave notes. (no this is not 'corny')

How can you become more loving and devoted?

Pray for wisdom and understanding. Ask God to reveal his will for you in your marriage. Ask for strength, patience and kindness. Ask Him to show you the kind of spouse He wants you to be.

Know, absolutely that actions speak louder than words. You don't just tell your partner that you love them. You show them by your actions that you are committed to them. Be loyal, kind and faithful—always.

Set long-term goals for your marriage. Setting long-term goals for your marriage and constantly working to improve it shows devotion and commitment. Huddle (and cuddle!) with your spouse and discuss how you both would like to see your marriage grow. Then you can map out how you are going to get there.

Loving and being devoted to your spouse is different from being 'in love with' which is only a feeling. Loving devotion is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by the habit of unconditional acceptance.

True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. 
It is, on the contrary, an element calm, and a deep spiritual union.

Marriage 2.0 -- a system update for lifelong relationships | Liza Shaw

Liza is the Director of Marriage and Family Therapy Services in Hickory, NC and a Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). She received her Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Appalachian State University in 1999 and began her private practice at that time. Liza's expertise is in couples therapy, specifically, assisting couples to move beyond the barriers of their past and create futures together that may never before have seemed possible. "I consider it my personal mission to reduce the divorce rate in the United States... one couple at a time. But preventing divorce will only be successful if in place of unfulfilling or chronically dysfunctional marriages, couples develop truly thriving marriages and deeply fulfilling relationships."