Make Sure You Stock Up On COMPASSION

by Michael Corthell 

The world needs more compassionate people to make our planet a happier and more peaceful place to live during normal times. We are not in a normal time right now, so it is vitally important that we become more compassionate toward everyone and every being. Here are 20 ways we can become more compassionate today.
1. Be selfless.
Put yourself in others’ shoes. Place your happiness in the happiness of others. Instead of just thinking and caring for yourself, start caring for others. Break free from selfishness. Compassion is a great journey to go out of yourself and start caring, helping, and making other people happy. Learning how to be selfless is a great start to becoming a more compassionate person.
2. Be humble.
Free yourself of pride. Stop feeling superior to others, don’t act like you know everything, admit your own mistakes, and learn to forgive people. If there’s humility in your heart, it would be easier for you to be compassionate towards others, because your heart can listen, see, and feel clearly what’s inside the hearts of others.
3. Get rid of your hatred.
Learn how to stop hating and starting loving. Stop judging people, forcing them to change, and getting mad at them when your wants are not met. Instead, start appreciating the good things about them, giving them the chance to change themselves, and understanding their weaknesses. Remember that you cannot be compassionate if your mind and heart are shrouded by hatred.
4. Listen carefully.
Do not ignore people when they talk to you. Don’t talk too much but give them the opportunity to express themselves. Listen to their stories to know what they are dealing with. Understand the messages they want to convey. Take note that compassion is about awareness, not ignorance.
5. Feel their pain.
We all have our own suffering. But being compassionate to others is not only about attending to our own suffering but also to others’. If you want to show compassion to your friends, feel their misery and offer them help. Comfort them when they lose a loved one, when they suffer from sickness, when a great failure causes them depression, or when their hearts are broken.
6. Feel their joy.
Aside from feeling other people's sufferings, also feel the joy in their hearts. Stop being bitter and jealous when they are enjoying success. If you could cry with them when they are sad, you could also celebrate with them when they are happy. You could do this easier if you will only focus on competing with yourself to be the best version of yourself rather than competing with others to become superior to them.
7. Do not judge others.
Stop being judgmental towards others. Instead of finding flaws in others, find something good in them. Instead of criticizing their shortcomings, find out how you can help them. Compassion is not about judging other people and putting them down, but it’s about helping them and lifting them up.
8. Accept them.
Compassion is about understanding others. But you cannot understand someone you cannot accept. Hence, learn to accept people for who they are. You may inspire them to change by being a role model, but you may not force them to change into someone they don’t want to be.
9. Forgive them.
Do not think of getting revenge when people hurt you. Your heart may be broken, but it’s your choice to make it heal. Let your heart be healed by forgiving those who broke your heart. Forgive them, especially if they are sincerely asking for your forgiveness. Understand that they are also feeling guilty and sorry, and that makes them in pain. Also, show mercy to them.
10. Apologize to them.
Do not be ignorant of your sins. Do not ignore the harm and sufferings you have inflicted to others. Hear your conscience. Be compassionate by realizing your faults, helping people heal the wounds you caused them, and making them smile again.
11. Learn to love their loved ones.
Our happiness can be found in our loved ones. Show compassion to someone by knowing the people who can make her happy. If you love your friend, then also love her loved ones, such as her partner, children, parents, and other friends. You cannot love her then hate the people who are close to her heart. You cannot make her happy then hurt the people who bring joy to her life.
12. Protect them from the people who hurt them.
Do not support the people who are hurting your friends. Do not help their enemies hurt them further. If you are compassionate with your friends, you have to protect them from people who are causing them pain. Promote peacefulness rather than aggravating the conflict.
13. Be kind to them.
The difference between generosity and kindness is that in generosity you give things, while in kindness you give happiness. Therefore, do not just be generous with other people but also be kind to them. Not every help you make will really help, and not every gift you give will really make them happy. To be kind is to feel the heart of another and understand their joy or pain so that you may give them happiness either by making them happy or by helping them get out of misery.
14. Respect them.
Show compassion to others by showing them respect. Respect others’ privacy, decisions, and individuality. Respect your wife as a woman or your husband as a man. Respect your parents as they know better than you what’s good for you. Respect your elders because they have lived life longer than you. Always spend time and effort to know them better and understand their positions, so that you may give them the respect and honor they deserve.
15. Support their dreams.
Our dreams and goals are what make us go on in life. They are the fire burning in our eyes. Show compassion by letting others, such as your spouse, children, parents, siblings, and friends know that you are always there right by their side, supporting them to make their dreams come true.
16. Appreciate them.
When people do things for your own good, whether they are big or small, be thankful to them. Be grateful for their efforts and appreciate the time and energy they have given up for you. Remember that compassion is also an awareness of how thoughtful other people are to you.
17. Trust them.
Give others the trust they deserve. Trust your spouse for it hurts them a lot when you show doubts despite their efforts to remain faithful and loyal. Trust your parents for it breaks their heart when their children disregard the many years of experiences and lessons they have acquired in life. To show compassion, do not forget the efforts they sacrificed just to make themselves trustworthy in your eyes.
18. Give them hope.
Give people hope when they are down. Encourage them to move on when they are about to give up. Stop nagging and getting angry at them just because they don’t change into someone you want them to be. Don’t treat them like a hopeless person, but inspire them to carry on and make themselves better on their own.
19. Bear with them.
Show compassion to your loved ones and other people by being patient with them. Do not easily get irritated or disappointed when they say or do something you don’t like. Always give yourself time to pause, consider and understand their weaknesses and struggles. Give yourself time to calm and forgive their shortcomings.
20. Love them as yourself.
Finally, love your loved ones as you love yourself. Love your neighbors as yourself. Love your enemies and do good to them as you do to yourself. To show compassion to others, you have to show them love, because it is only with love that you can do all the things above.
I hope that you’ve learned something from this article. Let us refrain from hating and continue loving. Let us start showing compassion, kindness, and love towards others. Let us make this world a better place to live. FMI
Buddhist roshi Joan Halifax works with people at the last stage of life (in hospice and on death row). She shares what she's learned about compassion in the face of death and dying, and a deep insight into the nature of empathy.