How to Deal with Bullies

NO Abuse Can Be Tolerated

by Michael Corthell

Do you think bullies disappear after we leave high school? Some fools never out-grow being a jerk. They don't steal your lunch money anymore or give you wedgees, but bullies are everywhere and can still harass you, continually insult you and undermine your work.

''Fighting means you could lose. Bullying means you can't.
A bully wants to beat somebody; he doesn't want to fight somebody.''
Andrew Vachss

Bullies are a pain in the butt and at times can be scary and embarrassing. But far too often are tolerated. Why? Because we just don’t want to deal with these idiots. So we pretend they either don't bother us or we just grin and bear the bull sh_t.

Here are some ideas to help you understand and deal with bullies, no matter what your age.

Separate yourself from the bully. Avoidance is the easiest step to take.  If an opportunity arises for you to get away from a bully, take it. It can't work every time, but it’s a start.

DON'T play the victim. A bully singles out the person because they see them as weak and vulnerable. When you stop being a victim, the bully’s bullying starts to embarrass them, and they will eventually stop (in most cases). Most bullies just want to piss people off and get them flustered so they feel like they have control.

Stand up for yourself. In some instances, some force may be needed. If a bully keeps coming for you despite all your diplomatic efforts, you have to push back. Don't punch him(yet!), of course, but use your brain and your words.

Ask for help. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, some bullies just will not stop. If things have gone too far and you can’t safely get rid of this rump swab, tell someone. You are not weak if you reach out to others for help with bullying. You tried to handle things on your own first. Some bullies just can’t be handled alone.

A bully is like a virus, a disease. They are sick themselves and the symptom of that disease is making others feel smaller, so by contrast they look bigger. If we want to effectively fight any disease the first thing we need to do is boost out immune system, our natural defense. It's like that with bullying. We need to be more assertive by being more self-confident. Standing up for ourselves is the right thing to do in all areas of life.

These clips are very illustrative and accurate: