Is There Good Grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loves is taken away.The grief associated with death is familiar to most people, but individuals grieve in connection with a variety of losses throughout their lives, such as unemployment, ill health or the end of a relationship.

by Mike Corthell

''People who are grieving need someone
to walk and talk with them without judgement.''

When I was in college Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s “stage theory” of grief captured the popular imagination. It is still a popular theory. In my mind the theory is solid. After you read this brief article outlining what grief is and how we all generally cope with loss, please go here for more detailed information.

Someone we love dies. Our lover leaves us. We lose our beloved pet. Then grief comes. What is this emotional tearing apart named grief and how can we heal? Time heals all wounds my Mom taught me and that is true but what is the process of grief and how can we cope well?

In 1969, Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross postulated what was to became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages represented the feelings of those who have faced death and tragedy.

They are:

Denial: “WHY! This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger: “I can't believe this crap! It's their fault.”

Bargaining: “I'll do anything you want God.''

Depression: “I’m in a dark place.''

Acceptance: “I’m at peace. It will be okay.''

We all have common responses to loss, but there are no timetables. Understanding that stress is one of the biggest traumas in all of this will helps us 'get through it'. The grief process is a healing time it can't be rushed. We have to FEEL the loss.

So, what do we do? 

We take care of our bodies. We spend time with others and we reach out to  loved ones and friends in our community.

We who have experienced grief can help others as well. There will come a time when someone close to us experiences a family member's death or loss of a relationship. When we know how to respond to our grieving friend that is a great thing. The death of a loved one is a crushing experience with life changing implications. As difficult as this thing called grief is, it is certainly possible to move forward with renewed hope for the future. Grief is indeed 'good'.

~

"Tears in Heaven" is a song by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings, from the 1991 Rush film soundtrack. The song was written about the pain and loss Clapton felt following the death of his four-year-old son, Conor.
Conor fell from a window of a 53rd-floor New York apartment building owned by his mother's friend on March 20, 1991. Clapton arrived at the apartment shortly after the accident...